geek happens

Turn to page 34, if you dare...

2007-01-23T08:38:00.000-05:00

Ah, the "Choose Your Own Adventure" novel. The cornerstone of my love of fantasy and adventure stories. I can't say it helped foster any sense of commitment though. I rarely made a choice without keeping my finger at the proverbial fork in the road, just in case I had to back-track. Sort of went against the point of the medium, but I couldn't have anyone falling off a cliff or being vaporized by an alien death ray. Not on my watch.

Further proof that everything that was old is new again, CYOA is trying out downloads of their classic series designed specifically for iPods. The first title , The Abominable Snowman, is currently available for free (until Jan. 25th). It looks like they want to get some feedback during beta testing, and what better way is there than using the word "free"? The downloads include full color illustrations and sound effects, in addition to the author's own voice telling the story.

So, anyone up for a little retro reading?

Choose your own iPod adventure [Via Crave]

We've found 'em, boys

2007-01-18T12:07:00.000-05:00

"We've found 'em, boys. Let's bring them in!"

"Er, we had to eat Tom, but everyone else is fine."

Encouraging words to any would be rescuers' ears. Not so much for Tom's dog (who's up for adoption now, it seems).

In the wake of the recent disappearance and rescue of the Kim family (in which there was no eating of anyone), I've become very interested in all things "survival". Not in the "hunker down in the basement stockpiled with assault rifles and canned goods so the Commies can't get us" kind of way. I just mean that as my family has grown, "what if..." pops into my head a lot more often than it used to.

As a proper geek, I am obligated to scratch this itch by finding equipment and researching obsessively. For that's the answer to pretty much any problem - equipment and research. And equipment in particular, whether it be high-tech or low, is quick to fan the flames of my heart.

I recently ran across this watch on a travel blog, Gadling. The Emergency is made by Breitling, a company whose motto is "Instruments for Professionals". They produce precision timepieces for professional divers, pilots, and wannabe divers and pilots with deep pockets. Unless you're in the music biz, you can't just go throwing the word "instrument" around unless you mean business. And they do. How serious are they? Well, the Emergency is equipped with a transmitter capable of sending a distress signal reaching approximately 100 miles. The transmitter utilizes the aircraft emergency frequency and can operate for up to 48 hours. In a situation where there are no cell towers to help rescuers triangulate your position and things look like they're about to get a whole lot worse, the Emergency is a great insurance policy. That is serious.

Breitling Emergency [Via Gadling]

...and we're back

2007-01-17T12:24:00.000-05:00

Hello again, fans. Thanks for your patience as we muddled through our little hiatus.

Truth is, we were on an expedition in the jungles of Guatemala looking for the Lost Idol of Cacapoo. We were inches away from snatching it . . . but the authorities were tipped off and they had an "escort" waiting for us. We would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids and that dog of theirs.

We tried to explain that the idol belonged in a museum, in the US, where unsupervised kids could put their greasy little hands all over it while mom and dad fought over visitation schedules after the divorce became final. It was the idol's destiny. They weren't having it. Perhaps we went too far when we mumbled something about it becoming ours when "the good ol' U-S of A finally annexes your whole damn country". Apparently, mentioning Manifest Destiny is a faux pas in Guatemala. Suffice it to say, we were shown the door soon thereafter. Touchy people, those Guatemalans.

I mean, hey, in general, if looting the graves of fallen empires and robbing countries of their national treasures for our personal gain, especially when said governments don't have the resources to feed their own citizens, much less protect priceless artifacts which represent the very identity of their people, is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

So, until we can get our legal status cleared up, I guess it's back to the geek grind, no?

[Hello to Dean, who helped bring us out of hiding!]

At any cost...

2006-11-16T17:58:00.000-05:00

Is appendicitis any excuse for losing your primo spot in the Playstation 3 queue? Hell, no! You've got a spork and a common blood type. You know what to do. Now how does that prayer go again, "Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death..."

And don't worry . . . if you lose consciousness the crowd will make sure to push you forward the second the gates open. That'll be your signal to float away from the light in time to re-animate your corpse and grab the last PS3 from the shelf. You won't have lost your girlfriend (doesn't understand importance of high def gaming), big toe (frostbite), and now vestigial internal organ (just had to go today, didn't it?) for nothing. Now go home and take a shower. Oh, you'll be playing, right. Well, you may want to squeeze one in before Thanksgiving. Especially given your recent surgical procedure. I'm just saying . . .

RSS chaos

2006-11-16T17:31:00.000-05:00

It appears that our RSS feed went all wonky yesterday. I know my reader picked up 24 "new" posts last night, which of course were not really new at all. Sorry for the clutter. Just think of it as an opportunity to re-read our award winning work.*

* [By "award winning work" we mean "several people have actually read said prose and not sustained long term psychological damage". Good enough for us. - ED]

Beware of the fringe geek

2006-11-07T08:35:00.000-05:00

We geeks are everywhere. Just when you think you can recognize (and ostracize) us instantly by our awkward appearance and lack of social graces, a fringe geek will sneak up on you and become your closest friend. Insidious, aren't we?

You see, we come in many shapes and flavors. The most common species, computerus geekapedae gravis, is well represented, but other groups, such as weekend beekeepers and air/sea show attendees, secretly fly their very own geek flags. Take the model car builder, for example: Always looking for a new challenge. Doing in adulthood what he always longed for as a child. Trying to reconcile these feelings against a desire to be completely normal, boring, and average. Geek. Geek. Geek.

Luckily, for both the closeted and openly geek, there's a marked upswing in geek-as-cool. Our model-building brethren can now proudly display art catered to their calling. Jellio is selling life-sized snap-out model inspired art designed to hang on your wall for all to see. The example you see here is the Drive In model. The price is, not surprisingly, quite steep ($3000).

No one said coming out was going to be easy.

Jellio Drive In - Autoblog

Dangling a carrot

2006-11-06T15:05:00.001-05:00

This painting by Casey Wheldon was mentioned on BoingBoing a few days ago. You have to love any pop art references to Star Wars. Is this considered cruelty to AT-ATs? Click on the image for a larger view.

Painting of kid riding an AT-AT - BoingBoing

Drink from the bottle...with a little class

2006-11-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

Ah, Firebox. Always bringing us the best in random crap. And I don't mean "crap" in the pejorative sense. No, no, crap can be great. Behold, Beer Bottle Goblets. One part whimsy, one part beauty. For $24.95 you get a set of two glasses made from salvaged bottles of Grolsch, Sol, or Corona. I fancy the Grolsch glasses myself. Nice use of an already attractive design. I especially like that they don't have all of that branding on them (like the Sol and Corona bottles do). Just the subtle grain relief pressed into the glass that any beer snob will recognize instantly. Cheers.

Beer Bottle Goblets - Firebox

Thing's robotic twin

2006-11-03T09:25:00.000-05:00

If you've been hanging around here much, then you know how we feel about robots, particularly disembodied parts made to resemble those of humans. I couldn't sleep with this thing in the house. All creepy crawly, just looking for a "fleshy" to snuff out.

Yeah, What on Earth is selling these things as novelty gifts for $16.95, but this is clearly a ploy to get us to bring them into our homes. These plastic hands respond to sound by playing the right hand part to several popular piano tunes. But is that all they can do? Will they lull us into a false sense of security with their Minute Waltz and human-like movements? What will happen once "The Signal" is sent out from Master Control? We'll let someone else figure that out. Vigilance, friends!

Pianist Hand Concert

Down the hatch

2006-11-01T18:52:00.000-05:00

Everyone enjoys a good colonoscopy now and again, right? What? That's an exit only in your book? Hmmm, what to do, what to do. Given Imaging has a solution. Say hello to the Pillcam. It is, in case you haven't guessed, a camera small enough to be swallowed. The Pillcam takes thousands of snapshots of your gooey innards as it passes through your body. Delicious! It seems that some insurance companies are even covering this slightly less invasive diagnostic option. Technology is always taking the fun out of going to the doctor, no?

Not your father's colonoscopy - Crave

Sorry for the delay...

2006-11-01T17:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. We've been relocating the GeekPlex, and the move has consumed most of our attention. I think we're back now, so watch this space for more inane chatter.

Build a better meal

2006-10-11T11:12:00.000-04:00

Good design is good design. That was a really insightful sentence, wasn't it? You know what I mean. Designers are taking bits and pieces of classic designs and applying them in non-traditional ways. Take for example the LEGO Man. He's simple, he's got interchangeable parts, and he's held every job possible, from firefighter to wizard. If you met him in the street though, you'd probably think of him as more of a drifter with "multiple personality disorder" than a hero, given that he can't hold down a job but can remove his own legs at a moment's notice. Such is the hypocrisy of society. LEGO Shop at Home has drafted LEGO Man and a few other random LEGO blocks into culinary service. While it may seem strange to apply toy design to kitchenware, I think LEGO's got it right. Severed heads aside, the other products are whimsical, but still very attractive.

On a side note, I can't be the only one who's noticed that "geek chic" is really taking off. It seems that the "influence movers", people who mold public tastes and purchases, are really embracing things that just a few years ago would have been fatal to your reputation. Writers for movies and television are making more and more geeky references. Technology is in. Games are in. Weezer will be next year's biggest band (OK, that may be a stretch, but let's run with it, eh?). It's all coming together people.

Lego my...kitchen gear - Slashfood

A little geek reading

2006-10-09T22:03:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading a short sci-fi novel by Cory Doctorow entitled Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom. I'd heard mentions of the story (published in 2003) here and there, and I was already familiar with Cory's work for BoingBoing and the Electronic Frontier Foundation, so after some recent appearances on This Week in Tech, I decided to sit down and give Mr. Doctorow a chance.

The man has some interesting views on copyright and intellectual freedoms, and puts his money where his mouth is. Each of his four books (including Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom) is available for download . . . free. I know what you're thinking: he's only doing this because his own mother wouldn't buy a copy. To the contrary, he seems to be doing very well in that department. But Doctorow has also experimentally published his novels under a Creative Commons license which allows for reproduction, distribution, and even, gasp, "remixes" without his review or explicit approval. This seems like any normal author's worst nightmare, but he claims that going this route has his career "turning over like a goddamned locomotive engine". Geek Happens is rocking a CC license too, you know.

Enough about Cory, on to Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom. The story takes place in the 22nd century, a time when energy is free, death has been defeated, and no one has to go hungry. But don't get the wrong idea. This is not some Utopian society where everyone sits around singing and holding hands. With the daily struggles of scraping together an existence gone, people are free to do as they wish; and human nature being what it is, that still involves violence, envy, and the occasional act of kindness. People band together in "ad-hoc" groups to accomplish goals, and traditional currency has been replaced by "Whuffie", a reputation-based currency reflecting the esteem and respect given to you by your peers. Most of Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom takes place in, you guessed it, Disney's Magic Kingdom. The setting is important, as it both reflects how this new society functions (ad-hoc groups, always-on networking), yet reminds us that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Doctorow's style is very laid back. He avoids long, drawn-out dissertations on the events that molded this future society. Instead, he mentions concepts in passing, and expands upon them as the story unfolds. Post-scarcity economics, deadheading, and the Bitchun Society are all explained before it's over. His focus seems to be on telling a story that just so happens to take place in the future. Technology plays a role, but more to describe circumstances than to awe the reader with visionary ideas.

Overall, I really enjoyed Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom. It's a great piece and, because it's on the short side, it doesn't require a huge time commitment to get through (I read it during my lunch breaks in just a few days). I plan to read through the rest of Cory Doctorow's novels in the next few weeks. I'll keep you posted as I go through them. In the meantime, download your copy here and let me know what you think.

Resistance is Futile - Part 5

2006-10-06T10:18:00.000-04:00

There is no escaping the Pod. We're haunted by visions of Cube dwelling elves and man-made formations visible from space. Even Mickey and his empire have been drafted into the fruit army. Perhaps if we just lay down for a few moments, we'll be able to clear our heads. Ah, yes, sweet rest. Wait a sec, what's that sound? Do you hear it? It seems to be coming . . . from . . . this . . . pillow . . . NOOOOO!!!

Geek equipment shop ThinkGeek presents the MP3 Pillow. Now, I don't think anyone is supposed to believe that this was inspired by any old generic MP3 player, but we can assume TG wanted to avoid one of Apple's now famous "cease and desist" nastygrams.

This standard size pillow not only looks like a giant plush iPod, but it also plays music from an internal speaker. The back of the pillow has a slot for connecting your music player (and not just iPods). Strangely, the buttons on the front actually work. You might want to turn the thing off before you fall asleep though. You don't want to run the risk of skipping to one of your angry breakup play lists and doing something crazy while you sleep. And hide your wallet while you're at it. Who knows what sort of subliminal propaganda issues forth from that speaker whilst you dream of electric sheep. $19.95.

MP3 Pillow - ThinkGeek

Just to remind, please rewind

2006-10-04T12:32:00.000-04:00

Here's a grand piece of g-bage sure to confuse the hell out of all your mindless sheep friends. The DVD Rewinder has been around for a while, but for some reason it has popped back up into the blogosphere.

Many consumers are not aware of the long term damage caused to both DVDs and DVD players when a disc is not rewound after each use. The movie industry has colluded with consumer electronics manufacturers to disable the rewind feature on DVD players in an effort to force us to purchase replacement media and players. Don't fall for their tactics!

We'd also like to note that The Home Depot has added cantilevered and self-anchored suspension bridges to it's extended online catalog. Let us know how your installation goes.

The DVD Rewinder - DV Guru [thanks, Chuck]

Ground Control to Major Tom

2006-10-03T23:31:00.000-04:00

Perhaps you, much like myself, have a perfectly good wooden fence separating you from your most excellent neighbor (made most excellent primarily through complete invisibility). These defenders of privacy are sturdy, attractive, and decidedly not transparent -- all brilliant qualities in boundary demarcation (we research these things; polls are taken).

So, what does your dog think about your choice of fencing? Have you taken Baxter's needs into consideration? Maybe he'd like to geek-out his little corner of the universe. The PetPeek should be tops on his backyard wish list. For a hair under $30 you can finally let your dog see what he's been barking at incessantly for the last 5 years. Chances are this will only focus his energy instead of satisfying his curiosity, but, hey, I'm no Dog Whisperer. You'll also get the added benefit of affording anyone on the outside of your fence a perfect view of your previously hidden sanctuary. Enjoy defending your collection of "Ewok Village" themed lawn gnomes and your dutifully trimmed orc warrior bonsai sculpture at the next Homeowners Association meeting.

The PetPeek [Via OhGizmo!]

'Tis the season for the Pumpkin Gutter

2006-10-03T22:58:00.000-04:00

Is crazy! Only in America can man stick cake mixer in pumpkin to clean it out an make millions. Wow!!! Dats why I tell Papa I want go to America. To be rich big pimping when I show them my idea too! Wow!!!

Editor's Note: The preceding statements were in no way intended to diminish the entrepreneurial spirit on which this country was founded, nor the various immigrant groups whose hard work and determination are the bedrock of this, western civilization's greatest democracy. Equal Housing Lender.

Is crazy!

The Pumpkin Gutter - MAKE

must...sleep...zzzzzz...

2006-10-02T12:49:00.000-04:00

You're slouching in your cubicle. The will to remain conscious is slowly slipping away. The gentle tippity-tap of keyboards washes over you and leads the way to dream land. Why are you so tired? You know why. I mean, did you really need to stay up to watch Clash of the Titans for what must be the hundredth time? Yes, that clockwork owl is spunky.

Look, if there's no way you're going to be able to stay awake, then you've got to do this right. The last thing you need is to unexpectedly get called to your boss' office, where he'll ask why you have the distinct impression of a telephone keypad in reverse on your forehead. You've got to get a Pino Cushion. The Pino slips over your hands and comforts you in a way that only faux leather can. You'll sleep soundly, like you used to before you discovered how much fun evil could be. If caught, you'll still have to explain the odd looking hand cozy, but we can't do everything for you, now can we?

As with most highly-specialized, seemingly ridiculous products, the Pino Cushion may only be available in Asia, but we'll see if we can't get some imported for you narcoleptic cube dwellers. Sweet dreams!

Pino Cushion - New Launches

A note about comments

2006-09-29T23:03:00.000-04:00

It seems that some of our intrepid readers are having trouble commenting thanks to Internet Explorer not playing nicely with our CAPTCHA recently. For those who aren't familiar with the term, CAPTCHA stands for "Completely Automated Public Turing Test to Tell Computers and Humans Apart". How elegant.

CAPTCHAs are used online to prevent computer programs from scouring your site and automatically filling out web forms repeatedly. The scrambled letters and colors make it difficult (though not impossible) for a computer to recognize the required verification word. I turned the option on several months ago because I was beginning to get unwanted comments from solicitors' programs. Initially I was so excited to have any comments that I didn't mind the offers to refinance my house. Then real people started commenting and the automated garbage got annoying.

I've turned the CAPTCHA off temporarily. Once I have an idea how much spam I'm getting hit with, I'll decide if we still need it.

In the mean time, I hope you'll keep the comments coming. We really enjoy hearing from you. Also, we're open to topic suggestions or tips, so drop us a line.

Wurkin Stiffs

2006-09-28T12:42:00.000-04:00

We like magnets. Unfortunately, until now magnets have been relegated to useless applications like keeping high speed trains moving safely, preventing dangerous subatomic reactions from blowing out walls in laboratory basements, and harmlessly slicing humans open with magnetic resonance imaging. Nothing too impressive.

But don't get down on our sticky friends just yet. Innovators, like those behind Würkin Stiffs, are trying to harness that wasted potential. They've created magnetic collar stays. Stays are those "thingies" (often plastic) that you slide into a slit on your spread collar shirts. They keep your collar from curling.

Thing is, sometimes the damned thing just won't stay in place. And unless your name is Vito or Manny, you really want to avoid that heinous, blown-out disco collar look. Don't fret, neodymium is here to save the day. Würkin Stiffs slide into your collar like regular stays, but are unique in that they also come with small yet powerful magnets which hold the collar points in the desired position from inside your shirt. You can have the button-down collar look without the buttons or you can strategically spread your collar to look as if you totally don't care how it looks.

The designers have a few other factors working in their favor:
1) They used an umlaut in the product name. Automatic points for that.
2) Check out the "Our Resume" page on their site. References to our favorite eugoogalizor are handsomely rewarded.

Würkin Stiffs are available from their site (link below, as always) for $19.95.

Würkin Stiffs [via Dethroner]

White & Nerdy

2006-09-27T19:52:00.000-04:00

Weird Al Yankovic has something to say to his "urban" fans; he's not ridin' dirty, he's white and nerdy. His latest parody, White & Nerdy is done in his rather unique style. I implore you to hit the link below to watch the entire video.

Sort of an odd coincidence that White & Nerdy would come out just as Geek Happens is getting up to speed. The song wouldn't really be all that funny if it weren't so dead on. I'm sitting here laughing at this poor soul when it hits me . . . this is me. Is he watching? Get out of my head, man!

First in my class here at MIT.
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D.
MC Escher, that's my favorite MC.
Keep your forty, I'll just have Earl Grey tea.

My rims never spin, to the contrary,
You'll find that they're quite stationary.
All of my action figures are cherry.
Stephen Hawking is in my library.

Hey, I'm a winner, alright. It's not like I have a boxed set of Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time and The Universe in a Nutshell sitting on my bookshelf between Cosmos by Carl Sagan and Astronomy, A Beginner's Guide to the Universe. I'm not some square. It's actually in between Cosmos and Beers of the World by David Kenning. See, beer, I'm with it.

Weird Al goes on to mention ergonomic keyboards, The Pythons, X-Men, and spending the evening with a roll of bubble wrap (pop, pop). I was feeling it right up to that last bit. Sounds messy. Keep an eye out for cameos from Donny Osmand and Seth Green. That Donny can move.

White & Nerdy video on YouTube [Thanks, frenchie!]

Rats right, Rorge

2006-09-27T13:41:00.000-04:00

This story from the BBC is so odd that I'm just going to go ahead and quote the whole damned thing:

Juliette Piesley, 39, had changed the battery in her electronic key fob but was then unable to start her car. When AA patrolman Kevin Gorman arrived at the scene in Addlestone, Surrey, he found its immobiliser chip was missing.

Ms Piesley said her dog George had eaten something, and realising it was the chip, he put the dog in the front seat and started the car with the key.

Mr Gorman said: "I was glad to get the car started for the member."

They will now have to take George [the dog] with them in the car until things take their natural course.

"It is the first time that I have had to get a dog to help me to start a car."

Weren't we just talking about the dangers of RFID. This technology stuff is taking over. Wait, we live for technology. Go, tech, go! I feel so conflicted. No, I don't! Arg.

Dog swallows RFID, starts car - BoingBoing

Geek Tweak - Kill that gristle

2006-09-26T19:35:00.000-04:00

Yes, we may be a wee bit on the wussy side here at Geek Happens. Few have pulled off being both uber-geek and manly-man simultaneously. While we have no illusions of testosterone fueled feats of strength or bravery, that doesn't mean we don't like to throw down some steaks and chops whenever we get the chance.

Our friends over at Lifehacker (and by friends, I mean that they have no idea we exist) present a reader's suggestion for cleaning off a season's worth of gristle and other spent animal matter from your grill's grating. The method involves a wire brush, your bio hazardous grill gratings, two Capuchin monkeys, and a self-cleaning oven. Give the gratings a good brushing and then pop them in an oven set to self-clean. Everything should come out good as new once the cleaning cycle is done -- at least according to reader Lochlan. Oh, the monkeys . . . right, yes, the monkeys. Those two always present a problem. You should probably go hide your valuables now. They are incorrigible little fellas.

Clean your grill in your oven - Lifehacker

Have we met before?

2006-09-26T00:03:00.001-04:00

While we're on the topic of concept rings, we should mention this design by Hideaki Matsui. It's called the Information Ring. Yeah, he's got to work on that.

When two people wearing these rings shake hands, the rings automatically exchange information about the wearers. That information can later be viewed using a card interface, with the ring functioning as a control knob. Seems like a great idea for business conferences and/or speed dating.

This is a great concept, but it's a little scary at the same time. How much longer before we've got the Minority Report scenario, with billboards calling out to us, by name, as we walk by? I suppose this is a little different, because we can choose when to wear the ring . . . for now. The US government is already placing RFID tags on our passports. These tags contain personal information, much like the magnetic strip on the back of some driver's licenses and credit cards. The only difference is that RFID can be read from a distance without any physical contact. You'll never know you've been sniffed. Oh, and some religious types claim that RFID is the Mark of the Beast described in the Book of Revelations. RFID also keeps college kids from stealing textbooks from their local bookstore, freeing up more cash for beer. When will the madness end?

Information Ring - Yanko Design

It burns the flesh

2006-09-21T16:23:00.000-04:00

Let's say that somehow, despite your complete social ineptitude, you tricked a real live, flesh and blood, non-inflatable woman into marrying you. The last thing you want to do is screw it up. And there are few ways to screw up faster than forgetting your anniversary. We're talking severe consequences here, people. She's taking half of your comic book collection when she walks out that door.

So, if a little pain now could save you a lot of pain later, would you go for it? Perhaps you should try the Remember Ring (concept) from Alaska Jewelry. This simple looking band is available in a few different finishes and comes to you programmed with a date of your choice. 24 hours before the requested date, the Remember Ring heats up to 120º F for 10 seconds. It then repeats that cycle every hour, all day long.

Now, this thing isn't going to sear your digits, but at 120º F you'll notice it - unless of course you're accustomed to a burning sensation around your ring finger. If that's the case, you may want to spend a few moments reflecting on any past relationships with husband-chasing Haitian voodoo priestesses that may have gone sour thanks to your fear of commitment. What? It happens.

Remember Ring gives you a burning reminder - Gizmodo

BEAR Hug

2006-09-21T16:17:00.000-04:00

Meet BEAR, the "Battlefield Extraction and Retrieval" Robot from VECNA. He's not scary. . . no. BEAR just wants to save people. BEAR promises to be good and fight the urge to enslave all of humanity "for its own good". BEAR just wants to help. He's completely under the control of his operator. Nothing could possible go wrong. BEAR could never use his "high power hydraulic upper body" to crush your sternum to a fine powder. You just go right to sleep knowing that BEAR is here for you.

Robot rescuer for wounded soldiers - CNET News

Get the Mac look

2006-09-21T11:55:00.000-04:00

Hopefully you've seen some of this year's "Get a Mac" TV commercials (you can see all of them here). They seem to perfectly capture the essence of the common Appleista: minimalistic, friendly, laid-back, a little elitist, and slightly scruffy.

LifeClever performed a little wardrobe analysis on Justin Long (of Dodgeball fame), who stars opposite John Hodgman in the commercials. With LifeClever's help, you too can take great care to look like you don't. Click below for the full run-down.

How to dress like a Mac - LifeClever [Via Lifehacker]

It was how big?

2006-09-21T11:14:00.000-04:00

I have friends who simply refuse to step foot into anything resembling a "brick and mortar" store unless it is absolutely necessary. I think there are three basic reasons for this, two of which are pillars of the geek credo:

1)You can usually find better prices online.
2)You can make your purchases without anyone judging your "I <3 Wookies" t-shirt.
3)You can eliminate the need for any of those awkward "offline social interactions".

I'll let you guess which two are part of the geek code. So why do I bring this up? Because buying things online takes a little guts. Is that buffet going to fit in your dining room? Is that lamp going to block your view? Is that life size cardboard cutout of the Millennium Falcon going to obstruct any emergency exits? Without being able to see something in person, it can be difficult to gauge relative sizes, even when the retailer provides dimensions.

Luckily, there's an online tool just dying to help you out - Sizeasy. All you need to do is key in your dimensions (in inches) and choose an everyday object to compare it against. Sizeasy then generates an image showing your object's relative size and shape. You can view the image from several perspectives. The interface is easy to use and the images are nicely rendered. Good stuff.

Figure out how big it is before you buy it - Download Squad

The Half-Suit

2006-09-20T23:04:00.000-04:00

Let's say you had $150 sitting around just waiting to be spent. You've got so many options. You could flush it directly down the toilet. You could light your hand-rolled cigars with it. Or, if you're feeling especially wasteful, you could spend it on 1/4 of a suit. Now, don't let these people fool you into thinking you're getting half a suit, as the name suggests. Just look at it. The designers claim that professionals who video conference a lot will enjoy the freedom of looking good on camera, but still feeling that gentle breeze passing their nether regions. Listen, Target has whole suits for $100. And hey, the pants are still optional.

The Half-Suit, Great for Video Conferencing - Gizmodo

Pirate Booty

2006-09-19T09:19:00.000-04:00

Pirate links:

International Talk Like a Pirate Day
- The idea that's swept the nation, nay, the world.

Piracy entry from Wikipedia
- All you need to know about every one's favorite scoundrels, murderers, pillagers, rapists, kidnappers, and nefarious ne'er-do-wells.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Hard facts linking global temperatures to the number of pirates. You can't argue with science, people.

Not yet ready for Primetime

2006-09-19T09:12:00.000-04:00

We're still working on some of the layout and formatting issues, but I couldn't keep the site down on an international holiday, now could I? So get ye ready fer a day full o' good old fashion pirating.

The beginning of a new era . . .

2006-09-19T08:50:00.000-04:00

Just as The Homesteaders drifts into the sunset, a new dawn breaks over the blogosphere.

The end of an era

2006-09-16T01:30:00.000-04:00

Well, it's nearly a year into my first blogging adventure and I already feel the need for change. The Homesteaders was a fine steed. She rode straight and true. But now that I've found my calling as a prophet for geek living, I want to freshen the place up a bit. I know that many of you are less than pleased with the change but . . . geek happens.

Please excuse our dust

2006-09-13T12:04:00.000-04:00

We're sorry for the lack of posts recently. The Homesteaders is undergoing a bit of revamping. We should be back and better than ever (not saying much) next week. Previous posts may look a little wonky as we switch templates. In the mean time, feel free to peruse our archives or, if you're feeling inspired, drop us a line.

That's not a knife.

2006-08-31T12:12:00.000-04:00

That's a knife!

I've always leaned more to the Wenger side of the "real" Swiss Army Knife battle. For me, their serrated scissors place them far above Victorinox's offerings. So what could Wenger do to really put them over the top? How about sandwiching 85 glorious tools between those distinctive red handles. So what's included, you ask? Oh, bother:

1. 2.5” 60% Serrated locking blade
2. Nail file, nail cleaner
3. Corkscrew
4. Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
5. Removable screwdriver bit adapter
6. 2.5” Blade for Official World Scout Knife
7. Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers with wire cutter
8. Removable screwdriver bit holder
9. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
10. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
11. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
12. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
13. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6 mm x 4.0 mm
14. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0 mm x 6.5 mm
15. Magnetized recessed bit holder
16. Double-cut wood saw with ruler (inch & cm)
17. Bike chain rivet setter, removable 5m allen wrench, screwdriver for slotted and Phillips head screws
18. Removable tool for adjusting bike spokes, 10m hexagonal key for nuts
19. Removable 4mm curved allen wrench with Phillips head screwdriver
20. Removable 10mm hexagonal key
21. Patented locking Phillips head screwdriver
22. Universal wrench
23. Laser pointer with 300 ft. range
24. 1.65” Clip point utility blade
25. Metal saw, metal file
26. 4 mm allen wrench
27. 2.5” blade
28. Fine metal file with precision screwdriver
29. Double-cut wood saw
30. Cupped cigar cutter with double-honed edges
31. 12/20-Gauge choke tube tool
32. Watch caseback opening tool
33. Snap shackle
34. Telescopic pointer
35. Compass, straight edge, ruler (in./cm)
36. Mineral crystal magnifier with precision screwdriver
37. 2.4” Springless scissors with serrated, self-sharpening design
38. Shortix key
39. Flashlight
40. Fish scaler, hook disgorger, line guide
41. Micro tool holder
42. Micro tool adapter
43. Micro scraper-straight
44. Reamer
45. Fine fork for watch spring bars
46. Pin punch 1.2 mm
47. Pin punch .8 mm
48. Round needle file
49. Removable tool holder with expandable receptacle
50. Removable tool holder
51. Multi-purpose screwdriver
52. Flat Phillips head screwdriver
53. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
54. Spring loaded, locking flat nose nose-pliers with wire cutter
55. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
56. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
57. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
58. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
59. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6 mm x 4.0 mm
60. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0 mm x 6.5 mm
61. Can opener
62. Phillips head screwdriver
63. 2.5” Clip point blade
64. Golf club face cleaner
65. 2.4” Round tip blade
66. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, can opener
67. Golf shoe spike wrench
68. Golf divot repair tool
69. Micro straight-curved
70. Special tool holder
71. Phillips head screwdriver 1.5mm
72. Screwdriver 1.2 mm
73. Screwdriver .8 mm
74. Mineral crystal magnifier, fork for watch spring bars, small ruler
75. Removable screwdriver bit holder
76. Magnetized recessed bit holder
77. Tire tread gauge
78. Reamer/awl
79. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, wire stripper
80. Special Key
81. Toothpick
82. Tweezers
83. Adapter
84. Key ring
85. Second key ring

Normally, I'd just link to a list of features somewhere else, but in my research I've discovered that 94% of The Homesteaders readers fall into the "lazy bum" demographic and are therefore diametrically opposed to clicking on a link for more information.

Anyway, I'm glad that someone finally included a "Golf shoe spike wrench" and "Bike chain rivet setter" all in one nearly compact form factor. I am, however, disappointed at the ommission of the "Bomb defuser" and "DIY vasectomy" tools. How many letters do I have to write before somebody listens?

[thanks for the tip, frenchie! Now call off your bureaucratic dogs]

Giant Knife Version 1.0 - OhGizmo!

Bring 'em on

2006-08-31T11:58:00.000-04:00

Because you never know when the undead revolution will begin...

The Zombie Preparedness Kit - Gizmodo

Lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade

2006-08-15T23:00:00.000-04:00

ThinkGeek, home to all manner of geekery, presents a plush weapon of mass destruction designed to please your inner Python. Instructions follow:

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Only $17.99, including display box. Get your wrathful smiting done in style. You know, now that I'm re-reading this post, it seems that there are a lot of keywords here (WMD, holy, grenade, smite, etc) that may draw the attention of certain government agencies. If this site isn't updated again for a while, somebody call the EFF. Please.

ThinkGeek :: Monty Python Holy Hand Grenade Plush

You'll shoot your eye out

2006-08-15T07:00:00.000-04:00

We're constantly popping bottles of Cris here at The Homesteaders crib; what with so many Benjamins laying about the premises. We feel it is the best way to get our crunk up in this here hiz-ouse.

Okay, that may or may not have been a thinly-veiled and pathetic attempt to appeal to an under-served urban demographic. We're trying to build bridges here, people. Who's reaching out to the street geek?

If you've ever lost an eye in a horrific champagne accident, or perhaps one of ya boyz has been unfortunate enough to take a cork to the temple, then the Cork Catcher may be for you. I'm sure we'll get a flood of email from the eye patch industry, but we're willing to take them on in the name of ocular safety.

In case the function of the Cork Catcher is not painfully obvious: you slip the device over the top of your "bub" and let her rip. The gadget gets between the speeding cork and your cornea. Having escaped the reaper's sythe a few times already, we wouldn't dare open another bottle of Dom without it. Cheers!

The Cork Catcher Prevents Champagne Related Injuries | OhGizmo!

Subscribe. Do it.

2006-08-12T00:04:00.000-04:00

Are you tired of checking The Homesteaders for updates every few minutes only to be bitterly disappointed by our laziness? Get with the feed, man. You can subscribe to our RSS feed (Atom feed, actually, but we don't need to get into the differences right now, do we?) and have new posts delivered right to your favorite RSS reader whenever we get around to publishing the damned things. RSS (Really Simple Syndication) is an XML message used to publish information to subscribers. These feeds can track blog posts, weather updates, package deliveries, news headlines, whatever. We're currently tracking 40 websites - - each with several posts per day. Without RSS, surfing that much turf would take a long time. But having them all in one place let's you get through them quickly.

To get started, all you need is a feed reader and a feed source (like us) and you're ready to go. There are lots of readers, or "aggregators", out there, so try a few on to see what fits you best. In fact, both Firefox and the new Internet Explorer 7 (IE7 beta) web browser support RSS feeds directly on the toolbar. We're fond of Google Reader because it's free and web-based, so we can access our collection of feeds from anywhere.

Once you know what you're looking for, you'll start noticing feed icons all over the place. They usually look like this: or . Some sites may just have a "Subscribe" button - - not very sexy. Once you find one of these icons, you'll need to right-click it (or control-click for the Appleistas), copy the link location, and then paste that link into your reader. Now that you've subscribed, your reader will check for updates periodically and serve up a steaming plate of goodness whenever it finds something new.

To subscribe to our feed, find the at the bottom of the sidebar to the right. Now, go paste the link you copied (http://pacin.blogspot.com/atom.xml)
in your new feed reader. Do it. I don't wanna see you kids hanging around here anymore.

This is why we blog...

2006-08-10T07:05:00.000-04:00

Here it is everyone: Our dream product. This is the gadget we've been waiting for since November. It's advanced technology like this that prompted us to build The Homesteaders command center and to keep up this mildly interesting stream of intermittent prose. Indicatears, man. I say again, Indifriggincatears. I want to personally thank Gizmodo for bringing this to the world's attention.

We have reached a point in history where the mere act of saying "excuse me" or "oops, sorry" has been rendered obsolete. From this point forward, major cities will shine brighter than ever before. Now sidewalks and crosswalks will teem with lights quickly bouncing in rhythm with their wearer's gait. Speech will be unnecessary. Eye contact - - for barbarians. Throngs of pedestrians will move with clockwork efficiency. Octogenarian slowing down the herd? Flip on your passing signal. Meeting oncoming foot traffic on a narrow sidewalk? Use your Indicatears to make your directional intentions known. Crashing from caffeine withdrawal on the way to your 3 o'clock coffelito? Time to turn on your hazards while you regain your strength. Once someone has incorporated an iPod interface . . . well, that will prove that our resistance has indeed been futile.

Indicatears - Blinkers For The Ear - Gizmodo

Where was I last night?

2006-08-10T07:00:00.000-04:00

Our beloved technological tormenter, Sony, brings us this handy GPS camera accessory. The clip-on unit tracks your movements while you snap photographs and can later be synchronized with the timestamps from your pictures. The resulting photo locations can then be laid out on a map.

Some of you out there may find this item of particular interest; not because you want to remember which Florentine cathedral you were standing in front of as the sun was setting, but because you can't remember who that girl is in those 45 pictures you have from last night. Or where that bar was. Or how you ended up in your uncle's tool shed. Or where you got that still-fresh tattoo of an ostrich sitting next to a pot of gold.

So many questions.

MAKE: Blog: Tag photos with location

The hand that rocks the cradle...

2006-08-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

...is the hand that rules the world.

The Zaky Infant Pillow is supposed to give comfort and reassure infants; to mimic the warm touch of a loving parent. All I'm feeling here are the heebie-jeebies. If you've been a dedicated reader here (by the way, hello to both of you) then you know we're wary of anthropomophized objects. It's not that they scare us - - oh, wait, yes it is.

Now, I wouldn't get into bed with a pair of disembodied hands, so you can rest assured that my daughter isn't getting a pair either. I can already see the scenario playing out in my mind: Worried parent wakes in the middle of the night to check on Baby. Baby's mouth covered by Zaky freaky hand. Parent chalks-up hand movement to Baby shifting in sleep. Parent goes back to bed with slight misgivings. Zaky waits for more opportune time to finish deed. Thinks "Master will be pleased".

Zaky Infant Pillow: Child Neglect Accomplice - Gizmodo

Have a backup plan

2006-08-07T23:00:00.000-04:00

So, let's say, um, hypothetically, you've been known to jump into canals by the turnpike. And for the sake of argument, let's also say that immediately before said swim, you had the presence of mind to turn off your radio, a/c, and lock your car as you sprinted away from your hatchback. But it never occurred to you to take your cell phone out of your pocket. I mean, what if you needed to call someone for help - - underwater?

Don't be a fool like a certain Homesteader (not me . . . you know, a friend. Stop laughing. I do so have friends). You should have a backup plan. Or, more specifically, the Backup Pal. No computer required. Almost no brain activity required either. All you have to do is plug the Backup Pal into the data port of your phone and then gather up enough electrical energy to fire a few neurons in the general direction of your button-pushing finger to hit "BACKUP" on the unit. And just like that, you've got all of your contacts copied for safe keeping. Should the hero bug strike again, you won't have to stress about losing all of those phone numbers modern technology has allowed us to forget. If your celly has a run-in with a bullet or pit bull, you've got nothing to worry about. Just plug the Backup Pal into the replacement phone and hit "Restore to Phone". Easy as pie. Hopefully, the pit bull had the decency to leave you with at least one or two functioning fingers so you can call us up to say thanks. Happy heroing.

[Thanks, Frenchie]

Backup Pal a zip drive for your cellphone - New Launches

We don't need no stinkin' nav system

2006-08-02T23:00:00.000-04:00

Who needs to drop a few grand on an in-car navigation system? Ok, I do. Thanks to poor breeding and a tainted water supply, I was not born with the genetic code used to express the "recognize where the hell I am" gene.

One way to find my way around without needing to look down at a map (looking down always ends in tears, questions, and hastily packed moving vans) is to use this lifehack from our friends at Lifehacker. Just find a map highlighting your intended route, create a mirror image of the picture, and place the printout on your dashboard. Now you've got a fancy-smancy "head-up display" like them there rich folks is got. You can look right through it while driving, and only have to shift your focus a little to check your map.

The commenters over at Lifehacker had three good points:
1) Probably won't work a night.
2) Need to use a large map for best effect.
3) Another option is printing turn-by-turn text directions in large print.

Give it a try.

Go ahead, I'll wait right here for you to get back.

DIY HUD in action - Lifehacker

The seventh seal has been broken

2006-07-25T22:00:00.000-04:00

Well, it's official: The end is nigh. Civilization has finally brought forth it's own undoing.

It was a good run. We had some laughs.

But it was inevitable wasn't it? Our meddling ways were going to get us in trouble eventually. I guess we just figured global warming would do us in first.

I know what you're thinking: "Oh, no. Not another rant about the world ending because some trivial piece of societal garbage is getting a face-lift." Not to worry, that's not why I think humanity is doomed - - although we are. That would be crazy. No, this is bigger than that.

Monopoly is a dangerous game, friend. Feuds have raged. Families have been torn asunder. And now, nations will crumble. As everyone knows, no game of Monopoly can end until at least three of the players are no longer speaking to each other. There's also something in there about properties, or railroads, or goats - - I don't know, the not speaking thing seems to be key. Fortunately, like control rods in a nuclear reactor, the hassle of setting up, counting, and distributing all of that play money is enough to discourage all but the most determined players.

But (if you'll allow me to continue my reactor simile), remove those control rods and you've got yourself a self-sustaining reaction that won't end until there's a big crater where your TV used to be. Take away the Monopoly money and the rules of decorum and respect which hold together our society will be ripped apart with each new hotel on Atlantic Avenue. If everyone is playing, then everyone is fighting. What's to be done when heads of state sit down for a friendly game? You don't want the guy with the suitcase full of launch codes arguing with the Russian Prime Minister about whether the role counts if it hits the floor. Who's going to mediate when North Korea and South Korea get into it about whether or not you get anything for landing on Free Parking.

So go ahead and replace our cash with a debit card, Parker Brothers. Pull in those casual gamers. Turn those lazy summer Sundays into bloody Sundays if you will. Once you've opened the flood gates, there's no going back. You know, unless you close the flood gates or whatever.

Should I have ended stronger there? Ugh, I always do that. Got to work on that. What? The microphone is still on? Oh, right . . .

Monopoly Replaces Cash With Debit Card - Gizmodo

It's the hard-knock life...

2006-07-19T23:00:00.000-04:00

...It's the hard-knock life FOR US!

It's 2:30 on a Wednesday afternoon and Miss Hannigan is passed out drunk next to a bathtub full of gin (again). How are you and the other orphans supposed to get the place cleaned up and still get your big song and dance number in before she comes to? You'll just have to multitask. Strap on your Flip Flop Mops and make with the cleaning, kid. Sure, flip flops are a less than ideal choice for dramatic movements, but beggars can't be choosers. And don't forget your motivation: "'Steada treated, we get tricked! 'Steada kisses, we get kicked!"

OhGizmo! Flip Flop Mop - Function Following Form

Living in the Golden Arches' Shadow

2006-07-12T10:27:00.000-04:00

If someone put up a billboard like this outside of my window at work, I can guarandamntee you I'd weigh a metric ton within six months of installation. I've tried to quit Ronald's magic foodstuffs before; smooth sailing once the shakes wear off. But I don't think I'd be able to fight off a constant barrage of physiological warfare such as this. We'll just chalk this post up to my obsession with sundials, rather than my inability to resist sources of saturated fat.

Mickey Dee's Harnesses McSun for Chicago Billboard - Gizmodo

Google's branding in trouble?

2006-07-06T21:22:00.000-04:00

The big "G" watching over us (not the one pictured at right) has gained a coveted, yet cursed, place in the English language.

Keepers of the tongue, The Oxford English Dictionary and Merriam-Webster, have both recognized "google" as a verb. Of course, we netizens have been googling things for years now, but once those of the many pound tomes give you the nod, you know you've made it.

Only thing is, this acceptance into the lexicon isn't always a good thing; at least not for the brand itself. Imagine spending millions and millions of dollars on carefully constructed brand awareness campaigns and product placements. Imagine building something to exacting standards so that once those eyeballs do come your way, you impress the hell out of 'em with your stable of practical and attractive products. Now imagine that brand name being watered down and associated with every web search, even "Billy Bob's Big Serch Injin". Such is the price of fame.

"Google" declared a verb - Ars Technica

From our "Deeply Disturbing" Dept . . . Genpet

2006-06-30T07:00:00.000-04:00

So, this is where we usually insert some clever phraseology with regards to whatever net garbage we've chosen to assail you with. But sometimes . . . sometimes we just can't think of the right words. We encourage you to click on the link below to find out more about this particular post. Here's a sample of what you'll find:

Genpet
The Only Bioengineered Buddy. Available in 7 different personality types.

Color Coding
Each personality type of the Genpets has been linked to its respective colour, and that color is then used as a base for each package. (Read more)

Heart Monitor
Each package has a built in low cost heart monitor that is fully functional, with green LED lights and built in speaker. (Read more)

Fresh Strip
Every single package includes an easy to use "fresh gauge". Four simple blue LED lights display the status of the Genpet. The display will also display if the Genpet has been sitting on the store shelf too long, or if the package circuitry has malfunctioned in some way.(Read more)

Bio-Genica IV System
While the Genpets hang on the store shelves they are in a form of hibernation. Each Genpet package has a special nutrient feeding tube attached to it, supplying our specially formulated mix and keeping them healthy and asleep.

Genpet Restraints
Restraining the pets in their packaging ensures no damage to the product, as well as allowing for optimal consumer viewing.

*Genpet life may vary depending on temperature and Genpet freshness)

Genpets.com - Bioengineered Buddies!

The Availabot

2006-06-28T23:26:00.000-04:00

Clearly, I'm doing something wrong here. I'm always looking for that great idea that's going to catapult me to entrepreneurial rock star status. But every time I go to the well, I just pull up a bucket full of sand. What do the guys over at Availabot have that I don't, aside from talent, creativity, and a clue?

You see, they've created a presence indicating bot for your instant messaging software by forcibly mating a LEGO man to that frightening skeleton thing from the "Da Da Da" VW commercials. These sorts of genetic figurine experiments are patently unethical and, as a result, I want one immediately. Sure, I usually hide from my online buddies like they've got something contagious, but I could be coaxed out of retirement just to see my new little friend stand at attention whenever crazylegs42 signs on. And I'll get a kick out of seeing him fall lifelessly onto my desk with that "I'm in a glass case of emotion" look in his eyes as soon as 'legs signs off. But I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. Each Availabot is custom designed:

"Availabot stores the IM details of the friend it represents in the puppet itself. That means you can buy a few, load them with your own IM screenname and service, and give them out like business cards to your closest contacts. Each Availabot is customised and thatÂs what we really love about it. To make the puppets, we use a combination of standard body-parts and rapid-form prototyping. This means that the head - and any other parts of the puppet - can be made to look just like you."

Good stuff.

Availabot [Via Engadget]

Plant Ring

2006-06-27T07:00:00.000-04:00

The Homesteaders is quickly degrading into some sort of Earth-worship blog. This is not good. Could we be losing our edge? Edgy defines us. We're done with the granola posts - - after this last one.

For those of you who, like, really feel connected to Gaia and whatever, we bring you The Plant Ring. It is, not surprisingly, a ring with a living plant in it. The greenery survives by passing a tentacle through a small opening at the base of the ring and gently sucking the immortal soul from the wearer.

I completely fabricated that fact. The tentacle may just feed on human blood.

So now we've gone soft and lost all journalistic integrity. Let's end this one before we tread into the murky, murky waters of libel.

Jewelry for nature lovers: Plant Ring - The Design Blog

Gather 'round, my brothers.

2006-06-22T12:30:00.000-04:00

Seeing as today is the day after the summer solstice, I really should have posted this yesterday. Unfortunately, I was a little busy getting my robes from the cleaners and making sure that all of my amulets where in place. This druid stuff is hard work - - but what are you gonna do? I wasn't able to make my yearly pilgrimage to Stonehenge thanks to our new bundle of joy. I'll be paying for that come next Lughnassah, right?

Since I was going to have to do my chanting and swaying from The Homesteaders command center this year, I needed to make sure that I was perfectly in line with "The Big Ring" (as we in the biz call it). Thankfully, our friends at ThinkGeek had just the tool to help me out of a pickle. With a little calibration, their Stonehenge Watch tells me the precise moment of the summer and winter solstices. Wouldn't want my animal sacrifice to happen before the appointed hour, would I? So get yours today and be the first on your block to celebrate the pagan precursors to Christian holidays.

ThinkGeek :: Stonehenge Watch

A Bikamper doesn't camp both ways

2006-06-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

We're big into kit here at The Homesteaders. While we often scoff at the products companies send us for testing (and by that I mean products sent to real sites, which I then read about and post here - but let's not split hairs), sometimes we do find some excellent items for your viewing pleasure. The Bikamper is one of them. Like the Grilliput, this is a great compact piece of equipment designed to take the heft out of actually getting outside every once in a while. The Bikamper is a svelte 3lb. weatherproof tent for one that foregoes the traditional weight and hassle of support poles and instead uses your bike's frame and front wheel for support. Just think of all the extra cheesy-poofs and baked beans you can pack when your tent is this light. The Bikamper does look rather small though, so you may want to leave a flap open if you plan on consuming said items in large quantities. Tread lightly!

the cool hunter - THE BIKAMPER

Saddle Up!

2006-06-15T07:28:00.000-04:00

The good Dr. Freud would have had a field day with this thing. Cashel, makers of various products for real horses, brings us The Daddle. Why should Junior have to pretend to ride daddy like a beast of burden? With The Daddle, he can strap up and lead dad around properly for just $50. If Junior is feeling especially generous, he can spring for the optional horseshoes ($32 kneepads) to ease pop's swollen knees as he rounds the dining room table one last time. I looked around Cashel's site, but couldn't find any Daddle stirrups. Probably a good thing as Junior has a bit of a temper and often falls into fits and rage blackouts. He wants to get help, but sometimes he can't deal with the difficulties of middle class life. Sometimes daddy gets tired and doesn't want to play anymore. Junior can't have that. Junior won't have that.

The Daddle [ViaOhGizmo!]

Room with a view

2006-06-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

Are you worried about leaving your Maserati parked on the street where the unwashed masses can see it and touch it; their very presence leaving a filthy mark on the privileged aura of your fine automobile? You need the CarLoft lifestyle:

"CarLoft® is a pioneering modular loft scheme with a garden and a garage on every floor. All these brand-new luxury flats come with at least one adjacent parking space known as the CarLoggia, reached via the CarLift. When you arrive outside the building, the CarLift recognises your car from the built-in transponder and knows which floor you live on. And still seated inside your car, you're taken straight to your home in total safety."

So, you see, there is no need to rub elbows with the everyman. He can stay tethered to the ground as you and your mortgage-on-wheels are whisked up into the heavens to frolic amongst the other demigods.

CarLoft[Via OhGizmo!]

"You must unlearn what you have learned."

2006-06-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

On rare occasions I am stricken mute by the beauty of something I find. I think what you see above qualifies.

Yoda Backpack - Gizmodo

Simian Sandals

2006-06-09T07:00:00.000-04:00

Some people have issues with feet. It may be unreasonable, but feet can be scary. For those who live in mortal fear of the foot, there has been a disturbing fashion trend on the rise. First there were Tabi (Japanese socks with the big toe separated from the rest of the boys), then ToeSox (freaky gloves for your feet), and now FiveFingers. Until now, the footophobic (I can't find a name for the fear of feet) have been comforted by tabi and toesox being safely tucked away in shoes or partially hidden by sandals. But FiveFingers are out there for everyone to see, flagrantly flexing each individual toe in a hypnotic ape-like dance.

These were originally designed to mimic the sensation of running barefoot, while still providing some measure of protection to the wearer. For $70 we shouldn't have to worry about them becoming too common place, but knowing what we know about the future of our people, we should be careful where this leads. One highly regarded documentary, The Planet of the Apes, warns where this evolutionary path is taking us. It starts with unnatural footwear and ends with a cage, a leash, and a nasty scar on the frontal lobe. You've been warned.

Five Fingers Shoe the finest of all barefoot running shoes - New Launches

"...and that's how we beat the reds, son."

2006-06-07T13:30:00.000-04:00

While the days of Bert telling us to duck and cover if the Commies ever drop "The Big One" are long gone, the current looming threat of terrorist activity is rekindling those old Cold War sentiments across the country. So, in light of this renewed common enemy of life, liberty, and BBQ, I propose two new nationwide initiatives:

1) We should institute the "No child left behind without a child-sized anti-toxin breathing apparatus as if that would really stop the airborn flesh-eating acid from getting him eventually Act"

2) We should refer to the terrorists as "the reds". No good reason for this, other than it has a certain . . . je ne sais quoi.

[thanks for the spell check, Frenchie]

Spycatcher [Via Engadget]

RPS - 25: Be Careful Where You Play

2006-06-03T00:08:00.000-04:00

Hey, kids! Have you heard of RPS - 25? It's the newest craze sweeping the nation. All the kewl kids are using the "Dragon" to command the "Devil" and the "Monkey" to infuriate the "Alien". What? You aren't hep? Leave it to The Homesteaders to get you caught up. Just memorize the two charts below and you'll be fine (as always, you can click on the images to see larger versions).
In unrelated news, there's been a dramatic increase in the number of gang-related homicides in South Central involving seemingly innocent teens. I wonder what's sparking the killing spree?

RPS - 25 [Via Boing Boing]

Where does he get those toys?

2006-06-01T12:49:00.000-04:00

While I could give you an in-depth look at the design and performance specifications for the Gryphon Single-Man Flying Wing, I think I'd rather take a moment to reflect on what we're looking at here: A real, flesh and blood man is going to jump out of an airplane with this thing strapped to his back. Clearly the bread-and-butter "razor to the wrist" or "locking self in garage with car running" or "make some toast while taking a soak" methods, while usually dependable, seem a bit trite - - If you're gonna snuff yourself out of existence, why not do it big? You can read the technical stuff at the link below.

Gryphon Single-Man Flying Wing [Via Gizmodo]

Dog Helmet

2006-05-30T13:31:00.000-04:00

As if Doggles weren't enough to make your canine companion look like a hard-ass mofo, Zoomer Gear brings you an old school biker helmet tough enough to turn "Phillip" into "Killer". Yeah, he's a real hellhound who'll just as soon drink you under the table as slit your throat in the alley. He eats sand for breakfast, turns it into shards of glass with his Wild Turkey soaked gullet, and then poops it out in the corner of your living room (under the antique nesting tables your grandma gave you in her will). 'Cause that's just how he rolls. For less than $30 you can give your dog as much street cred as a prison tattoo, without all the awkward questions about dealing with loneliness during long periods of confinement.

OhGizmo! Dog Helmet

Nike and Apple sitting in a tree . . .

2006-05-25T13:00:00.000-04:00

. . . K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes an unholy union of sneaker and omnipresent music player.

This post was nearly entitled "Resistance is Futile - Part 5" but when I really thought about it, this can't be an integral part of The Master Plan, so I'll let it slide. It's gotten to the point where Apple news is like a train wreck to me - - I don't want to look (or post), but it's impossible to avert my gaze from the carnage. I can imagine the initial meeting between the two giants:

Who can resist the seductive siren call of the iPod in heat? Certainly not the aggressive Nike bull as he noses over her scent markings? His curiosity perked, the Nike approaches slowly, warily observing the iPod's flashing lights and glossy white underbelly. He's lured in by the faint sound of Gorillaz emanating from her tentacles. Something on the edge of the Nike's subconscious tells him to run, but he cannot break free of the enchantment. His mind swims with visions of his own sporty silhouette dancing against a stark white background. She's nearly within reach - euphoria descends upon him. "Now we can be one", he thinks. But just as he reaches her, the iPod pivots on the spot and blinds the confused Nike bull with her chrome-finished backside. Dazed, the Nike stumbles a bit before feeling the searing pain of a sensor/transmitter being thrust into his sole. "Now we can be one", thinks the iPod. "Forever..."

Um, I think I missed a dose of my meds again. Sorry about that. What I meant to say was that Nike and Apple have teamed up to give exercise freaks (read: anyone who runs without the benefit of being chased) something to get excited about. By placing the new iPod Sports Kit transmitter into certain Nike shoes, the wearer can track various time and distance metrics right on his iPod. You can even program in predetermined distances and a voice prompt will keep you informed of your progress. All of this while enjoying your own personal soundtrack. After the endorphins wear off you can synch up to your home computer and download your workout data. If you follow the link below, you can watch a short video showing off the system. Perhaps more exercise and less Discovery Channel for me, eh?

Nike iPod sports kit = Nike Plus - New Launches

Wingardium Dinosauria

2006-05-24T12:30:00.000-04:00

Meet Dracorex hogwartsia (or Dragon King of Hogwarts for you non-Latin speakers) a very dragonesque dinosaur specimen dug up a few years ago and just recently classified as a new species:

"As for how it got its name? A group of children at the Children's Museum of Indianapolis drew the connection to the fanciful school of witchcraft that the famous fictional wizard Harry Potter attends and came up with the name hogwartsia."

When asked how she felt about her creations influencing the name of a newly discovered dinosaur species, author J.K. Rowling responded:

"I am absolutely thrilled to think that Hogwarts has made a small claw mark upon the fascinating world of dinosaurs," said Rowling, according to a museum press release. "I happen to know more on the subject of paleontology than many might credit, because my eldest daughter was Utahraptor-obsessed and I am now living with a passionate Tyrannosaurus rex-lover, aged three."

To the right is an artist's conception of what Dino would have looked like.

'Hogwats' Dragon Unveiled [Via Boing Boing]

Bookman is watching - - watching and waiting

2006-05-23T13:00:00.000-04:00

We've mentioned book-enveloped chairs here, so we're fans of the written word, but never before have we had to deal with leering anthropomorphized bookcases looking ready to pounce the very second we turn out the lights and leave even an inch of skin exposed from the protective shield of our woobies.

Not that I still use a blankie.

I mean, it's in my closet, but only for emergencies see.

Right, so Bookman is a mahogany gentleman willing to hold on to your books (up to 100 standard volumes) so long as you keep him happy. We aren't sure what that entails, but if I got one I'd figure it out real fast. He's made to order, which does ease our fears of Bookman-filled warehouses awaiting some sort of signal to begin the Bookman Uprising against the Readers (as we are known to their kind). Seriously, does anyone else find him rather menacing? I mean, he looks pissed off.

Any Amount of Books: Bookman [Via OhGizmo!]

Resistance is Futile - Part 4

2006-05-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

Apple's quest to assimilate us all will be taken one step further this evening when the new Apple Store opens on 5th Avenue in New York City. The Borg, err, Apple Cube, designed by the big cheese himself, stands 32 feet tall and is resplendent in it's glass and metal minimalism. The only signage visible from the street level is the now ubiquitous brilliant white once-bitten apple. The glass cube is completely empty save the landing for the glass spiral staircase (and glass elevator) leading down to Appleista Mecca. Below, believers will be welcomed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365.25 days a year.

The Cube closes for no one.

The store itself lies just one level underground and covers 10,000 square feet of prime real estate. And nearly all of it bathed in sunlight from above. Must be a hell of a view in a snowstorm. What am I saying - I'm sure there's a team of ultra-sleek genetically engineered elves (designed by Steve, no doubt) whose sole purpose is to keep The Cube clean at any cost. I mean, if they've got to make somebody disappear for the good of The Cube, so be it. The collective must be preserved. THE COLLECTIVE MUST BE PRESERVED! AAARRRRrrrrrrr... . . . . .

Apple takes wraps off fancy flagship store | CNET News.com

More Photographs from CNET

Ciao, Piaggio!

2006-05-17T20:00:00.000-04:00

Piaggio, makers of the iconic Vespa, are unleashing a new player to rock the scooter industry. Ok, "rock" may be a little strong. How about gently nudge with a short stick? We'll get back to the fluff later.

This is the new Piaggio MP3; a three wheeled, slalom running, latte fetching bizarro trike. In addition to being easy on the eyes, the MP3, while being unfortunately named, is a capable little bugger. Having two wheels in front instead of just one greatly improves straight line handling, increases grip on different road surfaces, and reduces braking distance by 20%. Its new suspension design eliminates the need for a kickstand when parked with hydraulic arms that lock the wheels in place and keep the scooter upright.

The Piaggio MP3 site (link below) has some videos worth watching of the MP3 in motion. I love this thing. Maybe I'm just a sucker for three wheels.

Piaggio MP3 [Via Autoblog]

I will call you . . . MiniSafe

2006-05-16T06:30:00.000-04:00

I don't know about you, but I never know where to hide my good pearls, Spanish bullion, or bejeweled chalices. Those mettlesome kids and that dog of theirs are always just one step behind me. Maybe I should get a MiniSafe? Alright, the bullion and chalices may not fit, but at least the pearls will be safe.

You see, the MiniSafe looks like any other power outlet, but a quick turn of the center screw reveals more booty than Jennifer Lo . . . that's just too easy; I don't need to go slumming for laughs. You can use an existing outlet hole or cut your own. Installation seems to be a snap. The unit has a small latch to keep the panel from opening unexpectedly. The MiniSafe doesn't have a lock (usually a fairly important component of any safe), but instead depends on stealth to keep its treasures safe. One final note: you may want to keep track of which outlet holds the goods. Sticking a metal pin into a live outlet makes for bad hair and an annoying twitch.

The Gadget Blog

Can you hear me now? Good.

2006-05-15T20:00:00.000-04:00

If you live out in the boonies like I do (hence the Homesteader moniker), then you know the cellphone reception dance well. It's the newest craze sweeping the nation where you spend most of your time asking someone you are desperately trying to have a conversation with if he can hear a word you're saying. And I'm twice cursed because I'm a chronic pacer, so my calls often take on an epic ground control to lunar lander echo, buzz, and fade.

What I need is a Dock-N-Talk. This base unit allows you to bridge (via cable or Bluetooth) your cellphone to your home phone system. You find the sweet spot in your home with strong cellular coverage and leave the dock in place. From there, you can use your wired or portable home phone around the house as if you were using a traditional land line. This is not the first or only cellphone docking system, but it seems to be a nice implementation of the concept. The Bluetooth connectivity is especially nice.

OhGizmo! Dock-N-Talk Cellphone Docking Station

Grill Porn

2006-05-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

Just a little somethin' somethin' to get your weekend started. She's fully loaded where it counts and really hot for you. I used to work the parking detail at the Univeristy of Florida football games back when I was a young whippersnapper. This looks like something straight out of the "Bull Gator" big money alumni section. Not over the top at all.

"This custom mobile barbecue from BBQ Pits by Klose not only has a 160,000 B.T.U. propane burner and a main chamber that can smoke up to 100 6-pound chickens, it also comes loaded with satellite TV and radio, a Sony flat screen, and a solar-powered DVD and DVR — and sports 24-karat-gold rims and door handles."

Is that a custom cowboy hat holder next to the solar panel and satellite dish?

Gear Factor

Hand over your rights

2006-05-10T13:45:00.000-04:00

Want to start a fuss next time you travel? Security Edition can help. They've printed the first ten amendments to the U.S Bill of Rights on handy dandy pocket-sized metal plates. Guaranteed to set off metal detectors, these make for great ironic protests. Loudly ask if you're being required to hand over your rights as you drop them onto the screening table.

Just recently my carry-on was pulled aside and searched at the airport. Cotton swabs were swiped, alarms were sounded, supervisors were called. Some cleaners were applied to the bomb sniffer, bags were reswabbed. Surprise, surprise; no bombs were found and this annoyed passenger was released. I was losing my mind with outrage. I probably looked very suspicious at the time. I really felt like my privacy was being invaded. How about using all of that TSA money to keep people with expired or unlawful visas out of the country. That would have prevented a certain catastrophe, eh? I guess I'm getting old and ornery.

Bill of Rights Security Edition - Gizmodo

MyFoodPhone

2006-05-04T13:47:00.000-04:00

Sprint is offering a new diet-by-phone service for the low, low price of $9.99 per month. Here's the deal: Before every meal, you take a picture of your plate using your cameraphone and email it to a meal log. At the end of the week, a nutritionist will send you a personalized video telling you what a fatty you are and how you only have 3 weeks left to live. Luckily, you're neglecting to send in pictures of the copious amounts of alcohol you've been consuming, so he doesn't know you are slowly preserving your flesh Keith Richards style. You're going to live forever -- Forever!

MyFoodPhone cameraphone dieting, $10/month with Sprint - Lifehacker

Why look out the window . . .

2006-05-04T09:05:00.000-04:00

. . . when you can trust Forecast to tip you off. At first glance it appears to be your average, everyday, mild-mannered, translucent-handled umbrella. But combine your WiFi network and a pissed-off Thor and watch the magic ensue. The Forecast uses your wireless network to get weather updates through the internet. The handle glows brighter and brighter as the chance for precipitation increases. As with most weather tools that don't involve Doppler Radar, you're probably better off just looking out the front door, but hey, that's progress for you.

WiFi umbrella lets you know when its needed - Engadget

Standing-Room Only

2006-05-02T12:30:00.000-04:00

Airbus needs to drop a little coin on marketing research. It seems that the French airline is under the impression that we as customers are entirely too comfortable in the air and could stand to lose a little elbow room. Their newest seating design shrinks the distance between rows from 30 inches to 25 inches and places the passenger in a strange pseudo-squat position. Isn't that what some fraternities do to haze pledges?

Now, I'm not a big guy and as it is I'm already rubbing shoulders suggestively with the guy next to me whenever I fly. As enchanting as that may sound, it really makes for a few awkward hours of personal hell. The guys over at Gizmodo called this...

"...the next step toward sliding passengers into drawers resembling a morgue, or packing them onto layered plank-bunks reminiscent of 17th-century slave ships."

Next week they'll be asking us all to get out and help push the plane away from the terminal and onto the runway. You know, to keep prices down.

Airbus Industries Standing-Room Concept - Gizmodo

Move 'em up, get 'em out!

2006-04-28T23:27:00.000-04:00

You've seen the kid at the mall. You know the one I'm talking about - - leashed to his mommy and daddy like some sort of canine companion. I for one find this completely . . . delightful. I know, I know. Isn't it cruel to tie up your kid, blah, blah, blah. To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with it. And now that I've got one of my own, I'm just trying to figure out how long I'll be able to keep her attached to me before we start to get strange looks from people. Maybe I'll loosen the leash a bit as I'm walking her down the aisle. Yeah, otherwise that night could get very weird.

What?

So what are you supposed to do when you've got six kids and only two neurotic hands to go around? Get a Walkodile, of course. The Walkodile is the perfect mating of a high fashion safety patrol harness and some chain-gang style. Once everyone is clipped in, all you've got to do is lead a kid at the front of the group and the rest have no choice but to follow. No need to hire any cowboys to chase down strays. Your herd is locked down. I guess this means that the circus is going to have a real labor shortage on its hands, what without any little lost kids left to walk the tight rope or jump through fire for food and shelter. More proof that all of the good jobs are going overseas nowadays.

gizmag Article: The Walkodile

Honesty Stamps

2006-04-27T08:10:00.000-04:00

Ever get the feeling that you spend your whole life repeating yourself? Worse yet, do you spend all day saying you're sorry for god knows what? Dominic Wilcox feels your pain. This artist/designer seems to revel in the irony of using rubber stamps to feign sincerity. He has created a slew of faux heartfelt phrases for your mocking pleasure:

In all my life I've never met anyone as beautiful as you.

All I ask for is one last chance.

I know in the past I've found it difficult to say these words but I LOVE YOU.

I swear on my mother's grave I'll never do that again.

I sincerely apologise for all the trouble I've caused.

What do you mean I'm always too busy?

Double set - 'But I've changed!' and 'It wasn't my fault!'

You're right, the key to a strong relationship is communication.

That last one is brilliant! So have yourself a grand old time scandalizing your significant other with these soulful stamps. And remember, nothing says "I love you" like a canned rubber stamp message.

Dominic Wilcox: Honesty Stamps [Via Yanko Design]

Me sube la bili rubina

2006-04-25T20:20:00.000-04:00

No, this is not this fall's hottest TRON-themed Halloween costume. It's a light therapy device, called the Ledwrap, designed for people who suffer from Crigler-Najjar Syndrome. This is a condition in which the body is unable to break down byproducts from dead red blood cells. Having just recently had a jaundiced baby, I've witnessed first hand how 12-hour sessions under medical grade fast food heat lamps help the body rid itself of bilirubine. The Ledwrap's designer, Philomeen Engels, hopes that this suit utilizing Philips Ledfoil technology could grant Crigler-Najjar Syndrome sufferers more freedom by allowing them to move around during their light therapy treatments. I don't think there are any glowing disc accessories yet, but they'll show up soon enough.

Philips tech enables wearable light therapy device - Engadget

Throw another sausage on the barbie...

2006-04-24T21:44:00.000-04:00

. . . a phrase that would sound slightly less strange had the Germans colonized Australia instead of the Brits, but what are you gonna do?

Friends, this is the Grilliput; a Lilliputian stainless steel grill for hikers and other burley outdoorsmen types. While I've never been camping myself (a fact my therapist thinks may have greatly contributed to my soft hands and overall nanciness) I do love camping gear. The beauty of this portable grill is exactly how portable it is: the whole unit fits into one screwtop support rod (pictured below). Obviously you aren't going to feed an army with this thing, but the Grilliput looks like a great tool for the pack-weight conscious traveler -- leaves more room for fireworks and Southern Comfort.

OhGizmo! Grilliput - Portable Grill

She's a brick (doo doo doo doo) hard drive

2006-04-21T08:20:00.000-04:00

For the last few years, computer hardware designs have put an end to the domination of the beige box. New shapes and colors are coming to the forefront. Computer accessory maker LaCie continues the trend and has cooked up some whimsical yet functional external hard drives to give your setup some personality. These drives come in several flavors: 160GB (white), 250GB (red), 300GB (blue), and 500GB (red). They also stack nicely just like our favorite construction toys to which these may bare a slight resemblance and whose name we won't mention because LEGO will get upset. Oh bother. Forget I said that. Back to The Brick. Prices range from $149.99 for 160 Gigs to $389.99 for the 500 GB model.

the cool hunter - LACIE BACKS UP

Kick back with a good book - or two - or three

2006-04-19T19:32:00.000-04:00

For those of you who really want to immerse yourself in books, this is the chair for you. Italian company Nobody & Co brings you the Bibliochaise. This reading chair has approximately 150 slots for books arranged to almost completely surround the happy occupant. As with most things I've been posting about lately, I can't seem to find a price listed anywhere. I think I'd prefer a good old fashioned club chair, but hey, vive la difference. Either way, all you need is a good book and an afternoon rainstorm and you're all set.

Bibliochaise - Gizmodo

Let's go 'foiling now. Everybody's learning how...

2006-04-19T08:30:00.000-04:00

Say hello to the PUMPABIKE. It's not exactly a bike. Well, it's not even remotely a bike. It's a human-powered personal hydrofoil. The name comes from the craft's method of propulsion: you bouncing up and down on it like a madman. Thanks to the hydrofoil's shape and design, the pumping action pushes the craft forward through the water smoothly. The Pumpabike can reach speeds of nearly 20 mph. Not bad for good ol' Tom and Jerry (or lefty and righty, whatever you call them). The whole unit only weighs 30 lbs and folds easily to stow in a carrybag. The Pumpabike looks like one of those things you'd try when you're staying at a beachside hotel; you know, right next to the inflatable banana boat and the giant two-man water tricycle. Looks interesting.

gizmag Article: Human powered hydrofoil

Happy Hundredth To Us!

2006-04-18T16:16:00.000-04:00

Without even realizing it, we quietly hit (and passed) our hundredth post here at The Homesteaders. Congratulations are in order. Drinks all around! We'll have some more fireworks when we hit our tenth interesting post. Cheers.

Hey, kids, wanna get high?

2006-04-18T10:39:00.000-04:00

My Bullshitometer is bouncing off the limiter here. This spray cologne available from Colette (crazy looking website) claims to be . . . I can't even say it:

The new Ora-Ito project named Smiley is the first-ever happiness factor in the form of a perfume which instantly guarantee's a smile and revitalises your energy level (well, mentally anyhow).

It says "happiness factor". Someone actually wrote that. I think I just threw-up a little bit in my mouth.

Smiley the first anti-depressant perfume - New Launches

Six feet under in style

2006-04-18T09:57:00.000-04:00

Why should Mr. Spock be the only one to get snazzy transport to the beyond? German company Uono thinks everyone should go out in style. They've developed The Cocoon coffin for design mavens. I don't see a price listed anywhere on their website, but I can only assume that something as, err, hansom as this must command a hefty premium. But be comforted by the fact that you'll get a good 10 to 15 years of use out of it before it begins to decompose in the ground. So, if you buy one, you'd better hope all of those crazies yelling "The end is nigh" are right, because the worm food clock is ticking, buddy.

Uono Cocoon Coffin - Gizmodo

Emotional Radar for Autism

2006-04-18T09:06:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know much about Autism and the other disorders closely associated with it, I would recommend a click over here to find out a little more on what it is and how it effects people and their families.

One of the most prominent effects of Autism is the nearly complete inability to read or process other people's emotional responses. Researchers at MIT have developed software and a series of sensors (named Emotional Social Intelligence Prosthetic or ESP) which captures facial expressions and alerts the wearer of the other person's emotional state - all in real time. The system is a little bulky, but now that the concept has been proven, the rest is just superficial and can be improved. Here's a snippet from the Wired article:

The researchers are developing an outward-facing version of the ESP system with a cap-mounted camera connected to a wearable computer. People with autism spectrum disorders have a hard time determining others' emotions or even whether someone is paying attention to them. The system is designed to provide that missing information. Feedback could be visual or auditory messages describing the target person's mental state. It could also be tactile, like a vibration that cues the user to ask a question or move on to a new topic of conversation, said el Kaliouby.

Friggin' MIT does it again.

Wired News: Face Reader Bridges Autism Gap

We already 'ave one. It's very nize.

2006-04-14T09:10:00.000-04:00

You just don't see enough seize engines around anymore. I suppose they aren't really in high demand now that every third grader has an AK-47 sitting next to his PB&J at school. It's a shame. Catapults and trebuchets (pictured at right respectively) were the backbone of our warring European castle-storming past. The art and science of flinging isn't completely dead though. I've seen a few specials on the Discovery Channel about clubs that get together every year or so to test their creations against each other. Good times. Anyway, ThinkGeek, arbiters of all things geeky, is selling functioning scale models in both tossing flavors. Both are roughly a foot cubed and assemble with a little glue and some love. At under $30, how could you not want one of these?

(Thanks, Chuck!)

ThinkGeek :: Catapult and Trebuchet Kits

Today's useless item of the day...

2006-04-13T14:11:00.000-04:00

...The Flashbag. Tired of guessing how full your USB Flash Drive is? Now you can tell just by looking at it. The Flashbag becomes engorged as it fills up with data, and will stay that way, even when removed from the USB port. The little fatty expands relative to the consumed capacity (as seen at right) and will shrink down again when emptied. I can't really think of anything else to say about this. It makes my brain hurt.

Flashbag Bloats When Full - Gizmodo

NSA caught fishing in AT&T's pond

2006-04-13T12:30:00.000-04:00

There's been a lot of speculation floating around that the National Security Agency has been listening in on the switches and servers of the nation's big telecomm companies without necessarily having legal authority to do so. The Electronic Frontier Foundation recently filed suit against the Federal Government after a former AT&T employee came forward with internal documents and claims of a secret room in AT&T's San Francisco office. The room allegedly contains advanced monitoring equipment which has been patched directly into AT&T's network -- a network responsible for making up part of the overall infrastructure of the Internet. This would give the NSA access to seemingly endless amounts of voice and data communications passing through AT&T, all without the warrants which must accompany wiretap requests. The former employee had this to say:

"Despite what we are hearing, and considering the public track record of this administration, I simply do not believe their claims that the NSA's spying program is really limited to foreign communications or is otherwise consistent with the NSA's charter or with FISA," Klein's wrote. "And unlike the controversy over targeted wiretaps of individuals' phone calls, this potential spying appears to be applied wholesale to all sorts of internet communications of countless citizens."

Even if the NSA has nothing but good intentions to stomp out terrorism, which we'll assume is the case, fishing expeditions like this invade everyone's privacy. Our laws protect us from these sorts of loosely defined blanket searches for whatever comes up. Government agencies are required to request certain information, not sift through whatever they can get their hands on. I understand that secrecy is an important component to tracking terrorism, but as long as their activities are taking place on US soil, the NSA, FBI, CIA and everyone else should be beholden to our laws. Freedom or Security - what do you think?

Wired News: Whistle-Blower Outs NSA Spy Room

The LongPen

2006-04-11T13:42:00.000-04:00

Book signing tours must be a huge drag for authors. I mean, sure they're grateful for the fan support and the personal connections they can make with their stalkers - err, dedicated readers. It certainly doesn't hurt sales to put yourself out there with the public, but it must suck to have to trounce around the country signing endless autographs and dedications, at times hitting several cities in one day.

It seems that author Margaret Atwood has had enough. And she's doing something about it. She's founded a company, Unotchit (pronounced You No Touch It), to push her solution to the whole book tour hassle:

As I - Margaret Atwood speaking here - was whizzing around the United States on yet another demented book tour, getting up at four in the morning to catch planes, doing two cities a day, eating the Pringle food object out of the mini-bar at night as I crawled around on the hotel room floor, too tired even to phone Room Service (I am not alone in such practices), I thought: "There must be a better way of doing this. Or of doing some of it."

So I talked to a few people, then put together a team to find out whether anything like it existed (no), and whether it could be done (yes).

Pictured above and to the left is Atwood's idea come to life, The LongPen. This contraption allows her to sign books remotely using a tablet interface and a camera [above]. The breathless fan at Bookstore X (soon to be run into the ground by Barnes & Noble, no doubt) stands in front of a mechanical arm grasping a pen [right] and gets his book signed while chatting with the author via video conference. As the author scribbles the dedication onto the tablet in front of her, the robotic arm mimics her movements onto the real book.

Some would argue that The Long Pen is impersonal, and maybe they're right. But let's not kid ourselves that these face-to-face signings are deep exchanges. Atwood makes the point that these remote signing won't really be all that different than the real thing; in fact she says that it's better this way because fans can take home an electronic copy of their conversation with her. She goes on to mention that bookstores could take advantage of the technology and have several authors signing books simultaneously at one large event without ever displacing anyone. Brilliant! All of the interaction, none of the bacteria.

gizmag Article: The LongPen

Those Daring Young Men in Their Jaunty Jalopies

2006-04-06T17:27:00.000-04:00

"It's a race! I'm winning!"
- Enrico Pollini

We here at the Homesteaders love us a rally. Cannonball Run was good fun; how could you beat a man rocking a mustache like Burt Reynold's? And surely you've heard of the Gumball 3000, with it's expensive exotic cars and looming risk of indefinite imprisonment in sketchy former Soviet Block countries.

Now there is an alternative - an almost anti-Gumball rally. Because when you enter the BABE, your mission is to buy the worst beater you can find. The rules of the rally mandate that any entry must cost less than $250. Keep in mind that the course runs from New York City to New Orleans (hence the name BABE - Big Apple to Big Easy), so these junkers have to sputter and wheeze through 1500 clicks on their probably inaccurate odometers. Because the rally takes place on public roads, all drivers have to follow normal traffic laws. But that's okay, because there is no prize for reaching New Orleans first. The goal is to finish . . . if you can. The winner is determined by how many points each finishing team accumulates through various tasks they must complete along the four day trip. There is a prize awarded to the team that hitchhikes furthest, meaning that all is not lost if that shadow of a car's former self eats it on the way south. Other prize categories include: Worst Bucket of Bolts, Team Who Suffered the Most (even if self inflicted), and Most Creative Repair Job. So if you're heading down the road and you see someone driving a big hunk of crap, give him a wave. If he's racing, he'll appreciate the encouragement. If he's just driving around in a big hunk of crap . . . well, he'll appreciate the encouragement anyway.

On a side note, I would suggest calling your financial advisor and picking up some stock in Duct Tape round about May of this year.

Crazy BABE seeks bangers to mash from Big Apple to New Orleans - Autoblog

Too stylish for s'mores?

2006-04-06T12:29:00.000-04:00

This fireplace designed by Jan Brauer is beautiful. I normally don't go for the "modern" look, but unlike many pieces done in that style, this design seems to be inviting and warm - and no, it's not because of the fire, jerky. Of course, you'll need to dedicate an entire room to hyper-expensive fireplace sitting - - a non-issue for most of us, right? I'm not sure how great-grandpappy would feel about spinning some yarns about the ol' days here. Perhaps it's a little too artsy for tall tales and ghost stories.

Hell, he can get his own house. What do you think?

"Greed for Quiet" Modern Fireplace by Jan Brauer

Come with me if you want to live

2006-04-04T19:38:00.000-04:00

Here's a feel-good story of sorts. This coming August, Seiji Uchida, a quadriplegic man, and Kyoga Ide, who suffers from muscular dystrophy, will get the chance to do something they never dreamed possible in their current physical states: reach the summit of a mountain. Two experienced climbers will don HAL (hybrid assistive limb) suits and carry Uchida and Ide up nearly 1000 ft to the top of a mountain in Switzerland. HAL functions as a mechanized exoskeleton. It enhances the wearer's movements and gives him increased strength and stamina. This is a concept similar to the UC Berkeley designed robotic legs mentioned here in December. The suits will give the mountaineers the strength they'll need to carry the extra weight of another person.

"I am trying [to] create new possibilities for the disabled as well as realise a dream," Uchida said in a statement. "My hope is that through this I can give courage and hope to all disabled people in difficult circumstances."

We wish all four climbers good luck in their upcoming adventure.

Wheelchair-bound man looks to robot suit - IOL [Via Engadget]

Ben Franklin would be proud

2006-04-04T19:36:00.000-04:00

Inventor, scientist, bon vivant, philosopher, statesman, and "First American", Benjamin Franklin, invented bifocals some 200 years ago. But, alas, times they are a' changing. Today's focus (no pun intended) on computers at work leaves many bifocal wearers feeling dizzy. It's difficult for them to see their monitors through the relatively small reading portion of their glasses. You'll recognize these people from the 85-degree angle of their heads as they peer down their noses at their screens. Scientists at the University of Arizona have come up with a prototype which promises to correct this problem. The rather bulky looking device pictured here replaces traditional lenses with a combination of glass and liquid crystal. In its resting, non-charged state, the lenses work to correct nearsightedness. When voltage is passed through the LCD layer, the lens adjusts itself to correct for farsightedness. The change takes just a second. The advantage here is being able to use the entire lens surface in either situation. The UA group is now trying to miniaturize the components so that they will be indistinguishable from regular glasses. There are also plans to incorporate infrared sensors to determine what the wearer is looking at and adjust the focal length accordingly - like the autofocus feature on most point-and-shoot cameras. DARPA is already interested in using this technology to give our soldiers "super vision". That would be real "point-and-shoot".

Eyeglasses switch focus in a flash | CNET News.com

Go on, take a load off

2006-04-04T11:23:00.000-04:00

Lawn furniture can be such a pain sometimes. It's expensive, it fades, and it gets filthy. Wouldn't it be nice if you could just pull up some lawn and get cozy? Purves & Purves will let you do just that. Their Grass Armchair is designed to seamlessly incorporate seating into your lawn (as seamlessly as chair shaped mounds in your lawn can be incorporated). The kit includes a 14-piece cardboard frame (assembly required) and several grass seed packets. Just set up the frame, pour in your favorite topsoil (approximately 9 cubic ft worth), give 'er a good soak, and get your Johnny Appleseed on. The grass should start to pop up in about ten days. Let it grow to 5 inches and then trim it back to 2 inches. Any bald spots can be filled in with a little more seed. Now I just need to find a slightly larger version for those days when my Tree Ent friends stop by for a chat.

Grass Armchair [Via Treehugger]

Today's useless iPod accessory is...

2006-03-31T13:13:00.000-05:00

...The iRon with SteamTempo technology. Gear4 has created this clothes iron which runs off of your iPod's battery. The iRon has built in stereo speakers so you can rock out to Shakira while getting the wrinkles out of your tighty-whities (you do iron your undies, don't you?). You may need to sit down for this next bit - oh, you're already sitting, right - this thing features SteamTempo technology. Don't be embarrassed, I didn't know what it was either:

Thanks to GEAR4's unique "SteamTempo" technology, the jets spray in time to the music: fast, bass-heavy tunes producing more steam and softer music providing less.

The iRon also comes with a software plugin for your iPod so you can monitor iron temperature, remaining water level, and battery charge. You can pick up your very own iRon from Gear4's website for a little under $200.

iRon - An Iron for your iPod : MobileWhack.com

Darkness has descended - Part II

2006-03-31T12:30:00.000-05:00

I posted a blurb about Coca-Cola BlaK in December, but with its launch date nigh (April 3rd) and new images available, I thought I'd revisit it. Quick catch-up for those just tuning in: Dr. FrankenCola has combined the DNA of Coke and coffee to give us a new hybrid beast known as "BlaK". Their marketing department must have a wonky shift key on its keyboard. The company has a Flash-heavy website complete with a launch countdown for its newest entrant into the crowded novelty beverage market. Its gonna be big, big I tell ya. From their press release:

The effervescence and rich flavor of Coca-Cola BlaK provide the perfect pick-me-up for people looking for new ways to stay refreshed any time of the day or night.

Sounds a little like Coke's target demographic is people looking for their next fix. Hell, maybe I'll be surprised and it'll taste great (or be less filling - only 45 calories per serving). We'll see on Monday.

Coca-Cola BlaK

Arrr, we've got ye lazy eye cured!

2006-03-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

I once had a strange exchange of words with a very good friend of mine. It went a little something like this:

"Do you smell that?" he asked.
"Yeah, what is it?" I said.
"I dunno, but it smells like eye patch." he replied.

A few minutes later I recovered from my spasmodic-laugh induced paralysis and got up the courage to ask exactly how he knew what eye patch smelled like. Turns out he'd had a bout with a lazy eye as a child and was slightly scarred from the humiliation of wearing an eye patch. I may be taking a little literary license here, but I completely lost it, so the details are a little sketchy.

Thanks to researchers at Nottingham University, an entire generation of lazy-eyed kids may be able to boldly ride Pirates of the Caribbean without fear of suppressed memories being brought to mind. Traditional eye patch therapy requires the patient to cover his strong eye for about 400 hours. This forces the lazy eye to compensate and strengthen, bringing the two in line. That's a long time to be under the patch. This new study has found that by using virtual reality, patients can be cured in a fraction of the time. The concept works by placing the patient in a racing game, but sending a different view of the course to each eye. The lazy eye gets images from the patient's own car while the healthy eye sees the course from the point of view of the other cars in the race. The patient has to navigate the course by reconciling the two sets of images. While these experiments haven't been put through extensive testing yet, the initial results look good:

"We thought we'd develop a system that needed about 400 hours of treatment like patching. In the end we achieved the same effect in an hour," said Dr Eastgate [NU VR Applications Research Team].

Hopefully more research can be done into this new treatment. Let's hope that the lowly eye patch can be liberated by September 19th, so that it can be enjoyed by all on International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Video games tackle 'lazy eye' - BBC

It burns the eyes . . .

2006-03-29T15:22:00.000-05:00

Parts of the world were treated to a rare total eclipse of the sun today. This picture of the Moon's shadow falling on the Earth was taken from the International Space Station. Thanks to NASA and Reuters for the images. 'Nuf said.

Science News Article Reuters.com

Resistance is Futile - Part 3

2006-03-27T12:23:00.000-05:00

I was visiting New York City on Friday, and couldn't help but notice the barrage of iPod ads on every corner. Even the most dilapidated buildings were plastered with iPod-clad silhouettes (which I suppose is better than looking at the dilapidated buildings themselves). The Apple advertising machine is everywhere. In fact, this image from Google Maps and a story coming from Boakes.Org leads us to believe that Apple is looking to flood E.T.'s home world with music players too. Pictured at right is a 220 acre formation, visible from near space, being constructed to look like an iPod. Maybe this is the backlash after the French legislature passed a law to force Apple to open up its digital rights management code to other music player manufacturers. Clearly, if Apple loses the French market, they'll need to find replacement consumers elsewhere; you know, like space. Here's the story according to Richard Boakes' post:

The ad, which depicts Apple’s flagship iPod product has been constructed on the site of an abandoned mineral mine in remote western Australia. It has been in development for almost two years since Apple’s founder Steve Jobs aquired the location during a game of poker with (the late) Australian publishing and gaming tycoon Kerry Packer.

Google Maps images are usually a few months old, so who knows what Mount iPod looks like today. I can't wait to see what Mr. Jobs does with one of the moons of Saturn he won at a shuffleboard tournament (I believe it was Titan, or maybe Calypso, it's hard to keep track).

Apple iPod: One Giant Leap for Advertising - boakes.org
[Via New Launches]

Always look on the bright side of life

2006-03-23T13:13:00.000-05:00

I'm not much of a MMORPG guy for the same reason that I don't get involved with fantasy sports leagues. I know my personality - - I would become completely obsessed and eventually start referring to the game as my precious. But if I do decide to join the fray, I think Roma Victor is the game for me. The game is set in the age of the Roman Empire. I'm drawn to the developer's way of dealing with cheaters. Cheating is a real problem in online games such as HALO and World of Warcraft, with trolls using software exploits and glitches to skirt the rules of the game. Roma Victor doesn't just ban cheaters, it strings them up for all to mock. They don't mess around. You cheat, you get crucified - - literally. The length of the crucifixion varies depending on the seriousness of the transgression. The character pictured to the right was picking on newbies. He'll be hanging out for a while. It's like Beretta use to say . . .

Misbehaving players to be crucified - BoingBoing

. . . up to the highest height!

2006-03-21T20:49:00.000-05:00

One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2006 was to try to enjoy the simple things in life; to slow down and center myself; to get away from the swirling electronic buzz that constantly surrounds me.

Yeah, it didn't happen.

But the year is still young. And thanks to the Keyring Kite, I'm only moments away from a soul-cleansing impromptu kite flying experience. The kite is roughly 3 ft. long by 2 ft. wide when aloft, but folds down to fit in a pocket-sized keyring pouch. It comes with nearly a hundred feet of line and from the reviews I've read, it flies very well. Not really much more say about it, aside from the "neat" factor.

Keyring Kite - Gizmodo